purposed to be a masterpiece

for Christmas last year (2008) my parents bought me the costly call books 1 & 2. as i read the amazing stories in the first one, i was in awe of how bold those people were. in the midst of horrifying events they boldly claimed the Truth of the Father. even if it meant their death or disconnection with their families. i remember talking to a friend about it once on a chick-fil-a date. i told her that i would hope i was that bold if i was ever placed in that that type of situation. she agreed. the stories amaze me.

i recently finished the first book and picked up the second one today to read the introduction. i was not planning on reading the first story today as i knew i had Chinese to learn. curiosity got the best of me and instead of grabbing the book i NEEDED to read, i grabbed the costly call book 2 instead.

the first story blew me away and i will forever be changed. seriously. it was the story of DeWei, a Chinese (how ironic?) man who knew and believed in the Truth. he was a successful business man with a wife and 12-year-old daughter. he "thought the world was in the palm of his hand" as everything seemed to be going his way. up until that point he had only heard of persecution of Believers from other people. then one day he was attacked after work by muslim men, and another day they threw bricks at him and his wife as they were leaving the mall. he then began hearing about churches being burnt down while people were inside. DeWei said the days and weeks that followed became increasingly violent until the worst came. a large group of muslim men broke into his house one night while his family was sleeping and attacked him, his wife, and his daughter. they beat his wife until she was unconscious. they broke both of his legs and knocked him unconscious but he woke up to the sound of screams only to see his baby girl being raped by each of the 12 men. he tried to get up but couldn't because of his broken legs. when the men noticed they knocked him out again only to wake up this time with a shattered chin and broken arms. he was helpless and had to lay in his own blood watching his precious daughter being molested and then beaten to death by the men. as the group of men left one sneered at DeWei asking him "where is your Savior now?" as the police came and took him and his wife to the hospital where they were for almost 3 months he found out he had 32 broken bones and 47 lacerations while his wife had 9 broken bones and 26 lacerations. DeWei was furious at the Father and questioned why He took his little girl. he went to counseling with his wife at their church to work through their pain, but he was still angry. it took a year for him to heal and forgive those men of what they did. he didn't fully heal until one Sunday morning when the Father clearly spoke to him through that mornings message.

it was simply titled "purposed to be a masterpiece" with ephesians 2:10 being the scripture verse. 2:10 states that Believers are the Father's masterpiece. as the message went on it was explained that all the famous painters in the world could create whatever they wanted on their canvas and use whatever colors they chose--whether they be bright reds, blues, oranges, and yellows, or browns, greys and black. the canvas has no say as to what colors are to be used. that is left up to the master artist. just like in that analogy, the Father (Master Craftsman) has the same right to choose what colors to paint into our lives to make us the masterpiece that He desires. there will be bright colors (the good times in life when things are going well). and there will be times when the Father will use dark colors in our lives (tragedies, sickness, and persecution). He does this in order that we might be His masterpieces, used to bring honor and glory to His Son.

DaWei was completely healed by the Father after hearing that message. after a while he went back to work, but another muslim man set fire to one of the rooms in his business. he decided to not press charges and refused to testify against him. after a year in prison the man came to DaWei telling him he was sorry and would repay him for the rest of his life. it was then and there that DaWei was able to share the Truth with him and lead him to believe. DaWei gave him a job at his hotel and instantly became good friends with the man, becoming "Uncle DaWei" to the man's daughters. something only the Father could do...a Chinese man uncle to a Javanese family. all doing it by painting dark colors on the canvas of his life.

so i know this is lengthy but to grasp what i grasped without having the real story in front of you, i had to give details. it brought a whole new meaning to how i viewed life. i'm not even sure i can explain it being that it is so late. but DaWei said it best..."Yahweh Himself does have the right to paint any color into my life that He wishes. i am not asking Him to paint dark colors in my life. however, i am telling Him that if He needs to put more dark colors on this canvas, He is free to do so. i just want Him to be pleased with this canvas. i truly want to be a masterpiece for my Father."

dang. i'm speechless. really. my deepest heart's desire is to be a masterpiece for my Father. going to China and experiencing EVERYTHING new is a part of what he is painting on my canvas. there will be bright colors as well as dark, but it will all be a part of His plan for the masterpiece He is creating.

for we are the Father's masterpiece. He has created us anew in His Son, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

a fab four reunion

so friday night, after over a year of being separated, the Fab Four (keshia, kendra, aly, and christine) reunited for a random night of reminiscing the years spent at spartanburg methodist college.

it was a fast paced night as it always was with the Fab Four and here is what went down:

• quick visit with Kim Day
• dinner at boot's and sonny's (a local hot dog joint)
• soccer and frisbee at barnet park
• 10 frames of bowling at paradise lanes (formally known as shamrock lanes)
• arcade games
• ice cream at bruster's
• "good game, pat"s on the tennis courts
• ding, dong, ditch at kim day's
• fresh, hot donuts at krispy kreme
• elongated goodbye's in kim day's yard

by the time we hit the tennis courts it was 9:30 and i guarantee you we were ready to go to bed by then. back in the smc days 9:30 is when we were just getting started. :] boy how the time has flown. it was great to see that chris and i were still the "crazy" ones trying to coax kesh and ken to join in on random things...like skipping, boob tags, and pony rides. man the mems i have with these girls. i loved how it had been so flippin long since we had been together, yet after we get through the first 30 minutes of awkwardness (thanks to no one other than queen awkward herself...ME-ha) it was like sophomore year never ended. the bond between the four of us has never been broken no matter the distance. i hated how fast the night went, especially the goodbye at the end. of course, we delayed it like always. kesh had to break it and just decide to leave. i mean, she is the oldest. the rest of us "young ens" always followed by example.

the entire night was captured on film. we had five cameras out snapping photos or taking videos. it really was a great reunion. here are a couple of "then" and "now" pictures just because they are hilarious to see.

i'm FAR from normal

well i never thought this would happen, but here i am less than a week and i'm posting again. heart attack, i know. hope you all are able to catch your breath. :)

just got in from "the spring" (Newspring) in greenville and really amazed at how the Father works. like, really. i am in awe of how He has worked in my life and in the lives of others around me. Perry shared four words (rhyming words too) that relate to when the "brook is dry" (1Kings 17:1-8).

1-Invitation: the last thing the Father calls us to be is normal. [i smiled when Perry said this because I KNOW i'm FAR from normal :)] follow Him and He will show you things that are not ordinary, and you will experience things that are not ordinary.

2-Desperation: when "the brook is dry". after you follow His will for you and you come to a dry place, pretty much everyone will call out in desperation to the Father. "why is this happening when you told me to go here?" "where are you now?"

3-Revelation: it always seems to be during the hard times in life when we hear the Father speaking to us. in those times of desperation we cry out to Him, desperate for His touch. even though we were doing what He said, sometimes He will cause the brook to dry up to get our attention. again, we listen to Him and hear what He has to say.

4-Celebration: when you realize the brook is dry, when you finally call out to the Father in desperate need of Him, when you listen to Him, there is cause for celebration. yes, the time may be tough and difficult but..."when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy".

Perry shared the vision of Newspring and what would be happening at the greenville campus. long story short, they are moving from a permanent location to a portable location in greenville but they are not weary. they believe the Father will pour out more blessing on the fact that the greenville campus will be able to hold more people!

as we drove back from greenville i couldn't help but be super pumped about what the Father was doing at Newspring. yes, my heart broke a little knowing i will not be able to be a part of most of it considering that in two weeks i will be in rock hill and then at the end of the summer i will depart for China. however i know the Father has great things in store for Newspring and for me, even if that means i won't be able to attend on a weekly basis.

i also thought about the story in 1 Kings about Elijah and the brook and how it related so well to my life right now. i talked about it in my last post about walking through this "birthing place". well, the brook is dry right now. i am in a new phase (chapter) in life where things are kind of just at a standstill. for the next three weeks i have not a darn thing planned. no job, nothing. and while i had such a hard time adjusting to that fact until a couple days ago, i now know and believe the Father had it planned this way since the day i was born. the two months i will spend in rock hill as a camp director will be another learning and growing experience that i will hold dear to my heart. then in three months, the Father is leading me to China where i believe i will see so many things happen to me and the lives around me that are definitely NOT ordinary. all for the Glory of the Father. tonight my excitement for China kicked up not only a few notches, but A LOT. as well as being in spartanburg for three weeks and then rock hill for two months. big things are about to happen, i can feel it.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

the smell of fresh new pages

yup. it's official. i stink at updating this. :) i mean, it's not like i am crazy busy right now. but oh well. here is a quick update for those of you who read this.

graduated a week ago. weird feeling, not gonna lie. day was definitely bittersweet, mostly bitter than sweet. balled my eyes out during a couple goodbyes and drove away never looking back. story of my life. here are pictures of me and the rents, g-rents, and sibs on the "big day". i feel like it was a bigger deal to everyone else graduating but me. maybe it didn't hit me yet (and still hasn't, really) or maybe i was just ready for it. who knows.

it was extremely hard adjusting to this new life back in spartanburg, for now at least. everything in me wanted to be back at the apt. it was change and that is the death of me. someone very wise told me "you are turning over a new leaf al, this is just the start of something new. you will have to do this again when you come to rock hill, when you leave rock hill, and then when you leave for China." (words from big sis, j) she is right though. this is only the beginning of adjustments i will be making throughout this summer.

i have realized that right now i am walking through the "birthing process". the Father has simply asked me to stop asking questions and just grab on to His hand. my place of enlargement is on the other side, but right now i have to put my complete faith and trust in Him. it really is hard. sometimes i feel like i am in a dream, and when i "wake up" from that dream my heart feels so heavy and i get so emotional. in those times i just beg to be comforted. i have no idea what China will hold. when i think about it i flip out because it's going to be such a HUGE change. like, i really can't believe i am going to be in China in less than three months. it really has not hit me yet.

these fresh new pages of life smell incredible. (you ever smell the pages of a new book?--if not, you should) i have closed one chapter and i am in the process of embarking on a new one. the pages are BLANK! just thinking about it is exciting. pretty soon those pages will be filled with Chinese characters and the adorable faces of the little ones i will be molding. :) yet, while it is exciting i am still wrestling with doubt and fear. can i REALLY do this? will i REALLY be able to handle the culture difference, the new people, new job, new place? am i still going to stay in touch with friends in the states? am i going to end up staying there longer than 10 months? will i change so much that it will just be way more awkward than it already is when i "come back"? questions that run through my mind everyday. those of which i have to constantly push aside and beg for peace and strength. i KNOW this is what i am supposed to do. it's just overwhelming to think about sometimes.

i was driving back from a short, random trip to the mountains of montreat and thought about my college career. i feel like i ended it it pretty well, but i knew i didn't want to end every chapter in the same way. so, i reminded myself that China is going to be a life changing experience. i have to make the MOST of it and the BEST of it. if i concentrate on all those questions i posted above...i'm not completely trusting the Father. i have to remember what He says..."Stop asking questions and just grab on to my hand."

it is difficult, and it will be. i am so used to having a physical best friend by my side throughout the past handful of years. though they have been different "best friends" throughout the years, my eyes were certainly opened to a lot. but for the first time EVER i will be embarking on a journey with only my ULTIMATE best friend by my side...JC. i am nervous about making new friends because i feel like i am never really "good" at that, but the peace that comes with this decision comforts my fears. with every new season comes new friends, and you still get the chance to keep the old. reminds me of that girl scout song i used to sing when i was in brownies. (yes, i was in brownies--STEP OFF!) i won't type the lyrics because if you don't know them then consider yourself LUCKY! :D i already miss my friends while i momentarily reside in spartanburg and enjoy the BUTT LOAD of downtime, and it hurts to be away from them. but i am slowly learning that i am being prepared for departure. somehow my story is a part of His plan.

the closing of a chapter

i am really bad already at updating this. i have a good excuse though. i wrapped up student teaching, grabbed the student teacher of the year award, and have been in the process of graduating and getting set for China.

it is hard to believe student teaching is over. it flew by so quickly and even though i looked forward to the last day, leaving was one of the hardest things i have done recently. you know, besides signing my life away to China. my kids and teacher made a scrapbook with pictures and letters they wrote me. it was adorable and brought tears to my eyes. this particular group of kiddies will always have a special place in my heart. i recently went back to visit and the look on their faces when they realized it was me was priceless. i was tackled for hugs and pounded with questions. some asked "are you back for good?", "how was your trip to China?", "are you staying for recess?" :] i was honestly speechless and i couldn't stop smiling. this little group of first graders stole my heart. here is a picture of me, my teacher, and the kiddies during our field trip my last week with them. aren't they adorable?

ok so about this whole "Student Teacher of the Year" award. never in a million years did i expect to receive this award. like, seriously. if you only knew the ongoing joke paige and i had for the past year. it's absolutely hilarious, but such an honor. i really gave everything i had into these kids and teaching them. i always remember semesters/years prior to the "student teaching" semester and how freaked out i was about it. i never thought i would make it through, but check who is graduating in two days. yup. five years later i finally receive that diploma dad has wanted me to grab since i started five years ago. :) i was completely suprised that i won the award. my best friend and roomie, paige, knew all along i had won but wouldn't tell me--she went so far as to show THE MOST excitement i have ever seen come out of her little body, but she refused to spoil the surprise. props to the roomie for throwing out all kinds of curve balls to divert my thinking elsewhere. she even went so far as to telling me that one of our other student teacher friends won. i bought it all. unfortunately when we walked into the building to find our assigned seats another friend showed me what i had won in the program. she would have surprised me completely had that friend never spoiled it because i definitely do not read programs. :) i remember calling paige a booger and laughing so hard because it was hilarious one of us actually one the award. then all her lies, all her diversion stories, everything started to come together. i know, i'm a genius. lol paige did tell me there were more suprises but i figured it had to do with the kids at school. well, as i walked off stage from receiving my award i heard dr. locy ask my parents to stand. when i looked up my jaw dropped. i had NO idea they were there! AND what makes it better...they knew all along too! my mom seemed short with a phone call i had with her the day before, so when i saw them afterwards she said "i couldn't spoil it for you al!" :) oh and by the way...i totally was awkward on stage, don't worry. i walked up too soon and ended up standing up there next to dr. locy as he read the biography that paige so lovingly wrote. mrs. batten told me i was the first student teacher to ever do that, and i told her that you can't expect things to be normal with me around. :] here are some pictures of that day too. one of me and the rents and then with paige aka summa cum laude. she got some BANGIN BLING that day. :p

it's been a week since student teaching has ended and i have enjoyed the break SO much. it was well deserved, i think. :) i was busy finishing a portfolio for teacher certification and putting together a support letter for my journey to China. still working on both as i have done MORE relaxing and resting than anything else the past week. :p i am also trying to spend a good bit of time with everyone as i complete this chapter of my life. hard to believe i graduate in two days. i will wake up tomorrow and say "dang, dude--you are graduating tomorrow morning". it's unreal, it's bittersweet. i'm ready to graduate--no doubt about it. i'm just not ready to pack up and say goodbye. life is about to change big time. i am still in the process of getting prepared for China...i just hope China is getting prepared for ME. :D